guiltrip | WEEK SIX

WEEK SIX

16 Vacationers

Throughout your time on the island, there's been a steady rhythm; the murders, the trials, the executions, the clean-up afterwards that leave just up remnants for you to remember what was lost. This Monday morning though, things are different. The debris and any biohazards are cleared, but no effort has been made to repair the games at the arcade, or to restock the chemicals and damaged equipment at the laboratory.

Odd.

If you cast your eyes to the sky, you'll also notice that the distortion is also lingering—there's certainly less of it at least, a haze still lingering over the go-karts, one whirlpool lingering out in the sea. It could be worse, surely.

Though there's no new locations for you to take your mind off of all these oddities either. In fact, looking at your device to access the resort map area and scrolling past Kakapo's Nest triggers an error.

There’s one more, slightly more eclectic change: the kittybots, instead of having cute kitty ears and faces, are now without exception round-headed. This would make them look like ordinary robots, but their heads actually now look like a bowl of fish swimming, which occasionally form up into expressions. A change of pace for everything, it seems.

!
WEATHER ALERT:

Bulletin:
The current barometric pressure is 29.90 inHg, and is expected to steadily decline over the coming days. Rain and storms are likely in the latter half of the week.

(( OOC: Welcome to endgame week everyone. We'll be running an endgame investigation Friday during our typical investigation timeslot, and Saturday will be endgame proper.

This week your admins can be contacted Monday and Tuesday only, after that they'll be incommunicado. ))

MONDAY • TUESDAY • WEDNESDAY • THURSDAY

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[ There's a moment of silence, and Lacus can be forgiven for believing Merlin will not decide to answer. But soon enough, there's his voice again. ]

Ahaha...what interesting questions to ask of me.

People often can be sweet-talked, no matter who or what they are. That is a fact. But, where would that get you? With people like that, who would take advantage, and leave you for dead for a result?

After everything they have done...after everything they did to you, and the others, do you believe that there is any merit in seeing the end of this with anything but their dead bodies? They've used the rest of you, treated you like nothing, toyed with lives without a single thought.

What are you all to them? Nothing! Of course I believe there is no other way than over their dead bodies.

[ So it is vengeance, Lacus thinks and doesn't say. ]

So it's about preventative justice? Or is it punitive justice? If it's the latter, then there are those among your number who might not have 'earned' a return to life either. How can you trust their words that they have changed, but dismiss the words of others who have committed atrocities out the gate?

Or is it about personal relations? About the people you know versus the people you don't? About the hurt done to you and yours?

Do you truly believe the price for blood can only be paid in blood? Do you believe murder will be ended by murder?

[ A pause. ]

I have no intention of getting in the way by protecting them. I will kill them myself, if that is what it takes. There are fights that are worth fighting.

[ But 'if that's what it takes' is the keywords. ]

[ Admittedly, some part of this is motivated by a grudge! Is it something anyone consider as justifiable? It depends on one's perspective.

But, considering everything that's happened, Merlin absolutely thinks it's reasonable.

...Yet, that's not all. ]

Did I ever say anything about thinking anyone who is with me in the afterlife has 'earned' a return to life based upon turning a new leaf? It really isn't about that at all.

It's simple:

They died, because of the fact that they were brought here and enticed into murder. Consider the next fact that those two threatened to kill someone if people didn't kill each other either. Not that it makes it any better, and some people just killed for the sake of it, but the enemy still goes back to being those two. Those two, who ensured that someone would die every week, for their own designs, instead of trying to work together with us to find another solution.

Don't forget that those two placed someone who poisoned others in your midst. Even his actions were his own, but they engineered that too. They knew the potential consequences, and just didn't care.

Of course, I don't like what they did, and can't stand them. I didn't die peacefully, after all. And of course, I don't like that they hurt people I care about.

But it isn't so black and white.

Doesn't it also come down to facts, Lacus? That they're a threat who need to be eliminated. A stain on humanity who is better off just being wiped out, for your own benefit as well~

So, bottom line is that they're untrustworthy, and need to die. When it comes down to it, killing them ensures everyone's safety, and a resolution, no matter what kind of nice words either birdbrain might have said. Sometimes, killing protects and saves lives as well.

This is a fight worth fighting, so as you said 'if this is what it takes', I ask you:

Will you take up the sword?

[ 'A stain on humanity better off just being wiped out', huh? It reminds Lacus of her very first conversation with Shigaraki. It brings her back to the same questions she's been asking since the day she came here. ]

Can you really say it is not about whether or not one deserves to live or die? Can you hang onto that reasoning when you call them a 'stain on humanity' in the same breath?

[ Is it about justice or isn't it? Is it about morals or is it not?

These things are hard to untangle. Lacus doesn't know that she can untangle them even within her own heart. But she can ask questions. Again and again and again, she can pose her questions to the world and wait for an answer.

If Merlin merely said it was about vengeance, this would cease to matter. But it would not ease Lacus' concerns and the turmoil she feels when she thinks of Tomura Shigaraki. ]

Of course I will take up the sword. But I will wield it by my own judgement.

Of course I can.

[ Merlin says brightly, without a trace of any hesitance at all, certain in his convictions, and his logic. After all, he can say it's both or even otherwise, so he keeps it simple, and to the point on that matter. He will gladly embrace this fact, even if some people might think that those things can only coexist separately.

As for Lacus' reply... ]

Hmm, so that's your answer. Well, as long as you're prepared to do so, I don't think I can call you lacking resolve, at least.

I'll be looking forward to seeing you and the others confront those two. And even if we might think differently, I don't think it hurts to have faith in you too.

Edited 2023-06-22 01:00 (UTC)

[ Lacus exhales at that. She did not intend to fight him, anyhow. The solution to all of this will depend on the hand they are dealt. She merely intended to find out what kind of priorities she would be dealing with on their side - and that's what she got.

Unsure whether or not Merlin can actually see her, she still smiles. ]

I agree. Our goal is the same, and we'll reach it by whoever's method gets us there.

I am placing quite a lot of faith in you as well, of course. You are holding on to people who mean a lot to me - and I'll fight in their name, too.

Whoever's method?

[ He just laughs lightly... ]

Mm, I don't quite agree that it will be something that's flexible, when it comes to this sort of thing, to be clear. But...

Humans are, at the end of the day, remarkable creatures, you know. When the time comes, when they need to act, and do what needs to be done...including fighting for their own lives, they'll manage that. No matter what kind of terrible revelations will come upon them.

I happen to believe that despite our differing views, you're one of those humans.

As for your own faith in me, it's definitely warranted. I'm a mage who has existed for thousands of years, so naturally something like revival of the dead is possible for me.

I can only hope that you carry that conviction with yourself in the end...even if it means staining your blade.

[ Lacus doesn't need Merlin to believe her. More than an attempt to convince him, this may have been a declaration of intent. To him, and to everyone else in the garden who might be inclined to side with her point of view.

But that last comment makes her expression turn a bit melancholy. ]

My blade is already stained. In this world so marred by bloodshed and revenge, even the idealistic choice may cost a large number of lives. I've been aware of that for a long time, now.

[ Lacus reminds him a bit of Artoria, even if the differences between them are like night and day. Especially since he thinks that in a situation like this, she would've been less idealistic, but whenever she spoke, her words and idealism always were clear things from the very beginning.

...But, that too is a symbol of everyone's individuality as well, isn't it? A mark of humanity's free will. Though he has actual disdain for those other two not to view them in a positive light and has not changed his thoughts on the matter, even their ugliness is a sign of their humanity. Light and dark, evil and good, selfishness and selflessness.

Such is the nature of conflict, isn't it? ]

Do you think that it's the easier choice, then? To shed blood because you refused to throw away that part of yourself. Or do you believe that it is a harder decision...to remain as idealistic as you are now, hmmm?

After all, you have grown quite accustomed to it.

I wonder...

[ It actually gives Lacus pause and she goes quiet as she contemplates. There's been a lot of talk of difficult and easy choices between her and Shigaraki, but this one feels particularly complicated. ]

I think... the hardest part is making the decision itself. Deciding on a path and not knowing what exactly the outcome will be, only that you will not be able to go back on it... That is what I find difficult.

One you're on a path, there is only the next step, and the step after. I'm myself and I can only ever be myself - so no matter which choice of mine blood is being spilled for, I know I'll be recalling it for eternity.

Of course, of course.

I've done my own share of having to take lives, even though it's sometimes more of a blur than not. [ Lived too long for that! ] But, naturally, I made sure it wasn't meaningless.

[ A considering hum leaves him, before he offers the next part of his response: ]

Yes...I also think being yourself is important. And though someone can certainly change, they will always remain themselves. Their true nature will show in the end, no matter what kind of face they present.

No matter who they are. But, it seems you know that better than anyone.

I'll be wishing you well in the upcoming days, like the others. Make every moment count~

... then you're wielding it for the right reasons. And you have mine to back you.

[Not that he has any love for either of the overseers-- the opposite, in fact. But he's learned the hard way that there's far more to strength than simply having the power to defeat... and what's more, that death in the name of vengeance isn't always the right answer.]

[ That gets a genuine smile from her. Her blade is nothing but metaphor, without Kira to do the actual fighting alongside her, so this is reassuring to know. ]

I'll see to it that your faith is not misplaced.

[ There's some giggling in the background. Let him cook! ]

[Temenos is over here popcorning at both of them cooking.]

[ sits in here with the peanut gallery. something sure is cooking, huh? ]

An eye for an eye is the first language of all living things. They are killers just like everyone else amongst us and amongst you, and we will do battle with them and prove ourselves the stronger animals.

It is vengeance I demand and it is vengeance you should demand as well. Do not pretend you are strong enough to resist it's call, Lake. Nobody is. There is no justice in this hollow world they have created, only blood.

[ No, this isn't Nona. Even without Alecto's consideration, Lacus would never be able override her memory of Nona with this. ]

There may not be justice - but then, what is justice? Even as I try to be good, the choices I make may be the choices of evil. I am already bloodstained. There were lives lost in my name, and I will never be able to repay them.

And still, if there isn't justice, what is there? Just blood? Only blood and meat? What about compassion? What about love? Was Nona merely pretending to be above the call that you claim lays at the heart of us all?

When she loved, fiercely and relentlessly, was that all in vain?

Do you not understand yet? Love is violence. Love is to take and devour, and crush and break, and to control. Vengeance is my love for all that I have lost. For all that they have taken. I cannot make them scream myself. I cannot rip their hearts from their chests.

Not from this hideous world of lifeless flowers.

[There's a reason she shares her name with a fury.]

Nona didn't understand. She was able to live without understanding the horrors of love. That was a mercy.

What justice was there in my death? Or Sonya and the Tea? Your Lobelia and the poet? The squid thing, the robot or Thrice Flowered? Your beloved, the hideousness, the Lord of the Flies. All of them. It is a human concept, and one I detest.

There was no justice in it - not in the murders, nor in the executions. Justice is a question and I cannot claim to have found the answer.

[ It's what she's been asking through her whole stay, almost desperately, because she is now in a position where people are looking at her to know.

And she'll keep asking, because the answer is nowhere in sight, it is only the questions that are getting more and more precise. ]

But I'd ask you kindly to not speak ill of my friend - of Nona as Nona, the girl I shared these weeks with. Did she not understand? Or wasn't it that she endured the horrors, allowed herself to be devoured, and still loved and loved and loved?

Your love is vengeance - but is that love for those who have been hurt? Or is it love for yourself, your own concept of doing right by them? Will the Nona that was rejoice if you tear them apart?

[Oh, that hurts.

This is what Nona was so scared of.]

...I was not. Nona did not understand love. But she was fascinated by it, and so she offered it, as many times as possible. I am not insulting her. She wanted so desperately to love without understanding the violence inherent to the act.

I do not love myself, I hate this monstrosity that I have been transformed into. But I am the ones who have been hurt. Every single one. It is my love for what was, and what was taken from me.

The Nona that was never showed you our rage, but she felt it almost as strongly as I do. We are a revenant after-all.

[ This is sad, more than anything else. Lacus' expression softens. This stranger who is and isn't Nona... She wishes she could see Alecto's face right now, look into her eyes and see what lies in the depth of them. Even if they are borrowed eyes, something within them must ring true. ]

Whether it is violent, or soft, whether it is all-consuming or just washing over you like a soft wave... I don't think that love is something that needs to be understood.

I'm a human girl, I can barely comprehend what it is you experienced... but that just means I have a perspective that is different from your own, doesn't it? Just as Nona was able to think differently from you, because she was herself.

My love is this. If you believe me to be pretending to ignore the call of my violent nature, then watch me pretend. Come see whether or not it will devour me.

[...Hmph.

She can see ghosts in the girls bold hubristic words, to lecture her on love, as if she hasn't been it's biggest victim. She can see John before he was God. Anastasia. In the back of her mind she can even see Palamedes and Camilla. Even Harrowhark in an odd way.]

...When I was the girl you were capable of loving, I believed in your strength.

I have watched you pretend since we arrived, lying in minute little ways, and I have allowed you your white lies although I didn't understand it.

We will see if you prove me wrong, child of man.

[ ... well, she can't really deny this. She's been lying by omission, over and over again. For the last few years, maybe for longer, she's played a part. The role of herself, on the stage of the world. ]

I hope that you'll be able to feel the love in my white lies. Over, and over, and over.

I love Nona. Loving Nona is easy. Whether or not I would love you... Well, it makes me a little sad that we might not have time to find out.

Edited 2023-06-22 12:26 (UTC)

[It's about the most painful thing Lacus could say. The truth. Confirming each and every single one of the fears she had when she could close her eyes and convince herself she was a person and not a thing.

On the other end, Alecto just looks horribly sad.]

A day or another billion years. 'Tis all a blink to me.

Know this. Regardless of how you feel about me, regardless of whether you resent the fact that I was not as tame as you wanted me to be, or that I could not go on living in ignorance to be palatable to you...

I still love you. Even when you are dead, whether by the many hands of the hideous creature you call a friend, or in sickness many decades from now, I will still love you for allowing me to experience true friendship, even for a moment.

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idologue - 2023-06-22 15:53 (UTC) - Expand

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stilllovesyou - 2023-06-23 01:16 (UTC) - Expand

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WEEK SIX

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WEATHER ALERT: