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killerwaves) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
guiltrip2023-05-13 11:01 am
killerwaves) wrote in guiltrip2023-05-13 11:01 am
WELCOME
INTRO
Whoever you are, wherever you were, the last thing you remember is the salty smell of the sea breeze and a distinct tickle of electricity across your body. Enough to cause alarm perhaps, but in the next moment it all goes black, or blue to be more precise. When you stir into consciousness, those fuzzy sensations are all that you have as an explanation, though there's certainly more to experience around you.
The warm bright rays of the sun, the rhythmic cresting of the waves into the shore, the unfortunate feeling of sand sticking to you everywhere, because you're lying flat on your back on a beach without a beach towel. At least you're not alone, and at least it doesn't seem like you've been completely dumped unceremoniously, as there's orderly space between you and the 27 others who share your predicament. Whoever left you here probably could have dumped you into a pile, but they have better manners than that.
However you decide to react to your sudden vacation, you'll find that you're dressed just as you last recall and that you have at least one possession of yours on hand. Whatever else you had on you appears to be affected by baggage routing, unfortunately. You'll also find a key inscribed with a particular bird and a strange device in your pocket, ostenstibly some type of cellphone from the period when blackberrys were all the rage. A pop-up window will greet you when you turn on the device, prompting you to pick a username (this pop-up can be ignored for up to 24 hours) and also walking you through a basic tutorial on its functions. For now, it seems like the public network isn't running, but the direct message function is availiable. It ends with a cheerful blurb instructing that "For further questions and help, please contact one of the hotel staff!"
As there's nary a soul that seems to actually work here on the beach proper, it might be worth it to explore. Around the resort are robots manning the buffet, sweeping, and even making cocktails if you want to drink your problems away. While they'll answer to basic commands, provide you with a map of the island, or even be happy to tell you the weather, they're incapable of engaging in any meaningful dialogue. Any questions or demands they can't answer will yield the statement to please contact the administrators.
Whoever they may be, but they'll show their faces eventually. Probably. ((OOC: Welcome to Last Resort! Poke a mod in the discord if you have any questions. The NPC meet and greet will take place at 5PM EST/2PM PST today! ))
no subject
[ is this teasing? who knows. maybe it's just polite conversation, or an honest observation.
however, he's not the type to ask questions for fun, and she's not the type to sidestep. ]
But resignation implies a kind of passive acceptance, like what occurred was beyond me. My circumstances were my own choice — to feel anything besides resolution towards it would be an insult.
no subject
[Poetic, but it is definitely a little observation right back, bordering on teasing, though his tone doesn't change all that much from its chronic sigh.]
Mm. Your decision to go to the Library...I guess you knew what you were walking into. It would be foolish to assume otherwise.
no subject
[ she notes that, and she'll hardly take such subtle hints lightly. not from a man like vergilius.
the poetry is, of course, right up her alley. ]
As you know, we're all aware of what may await us when we go to the places we do.
[ they're not novices, after all. though her circumstances are certainly different than his, with the color attached to his name. except... in this instance, perhaps she was closer than usual. ]
... That may have actually been the first time I had not. At least, not completely.
no subject
[A little nod - honestly, its a relief not to have to deal with the headache of someone not fully aware of City Bullshit (TM).]
And of course. But we tread forwards anyways. We follow our flow. [He tilts his head, his gaze curious.] And what do you mean by that? Something caught you by surprise?
no subject
their flow, huh.... ]
Nothing so tangible as a blade or a foe. The Library was what one might expect from a Star of the City in terms of threat level... in that moment.
[ the Horrors (TM). and that addendum, due to what he's told her. if the head got involved, though, again, that's irrelevant to the discussion at hand.
which is oddly personal, as she meets his gaze. ]
Has there ever been a time where you felt yourself falter, Red Gaze? Not in battle; not in a way that may spell your death as a Fixer. But as a person within a City filled with falsehoods. If so, that is my answer to your question: simply "myself". If not, then I'll not bore you with the details of such a thing.
no subject
[Has there ever been a time where you felt yourself falter?]
[His hands clench gently into fists at his side, momentarily, like a muscle reflex, before relaxing.]
...We can be our worst enemies. Even with what that City throws at us, we can become our own undoing.
[He closes his eyes, almost pained.]
Did something shake your faith, Xiao?
no subject
The way something shook yours, perhaps.
[ the smallest duck of her head. no, she won't bite her tongue. no longer. ]
I cannot know what brought you to that point... nor can I know if you saw that darkness as I did, if that is true. A flame of selfishness, that burns away even those that choose to stand by you in the haze... before you can put meaning to their figures. When everything clears, they are ashes, and you are alone with the feelings that follow a candle snuffed out: regret, guilt, shame. Grief? I had lied to myself, thinking I was beyond such things. In the way we all do, by creating extensions of that City within our selves.
[ wordy poetry, as she does. ]
So I ask you the same thing you've asked me, Red Gaze, as I have met your curiousity. For I have resolved to throw away all pretense and all hesitation, and I wish to know your answer.
no subject
[He appreciates the poetic imagery. Honestly, as coarse as he can be, there's still something to him that leans towards it, like a withered plant to sunlight. He stares and thinks for a long moment. Regret, guilt, shame. Emotions that feel like old friends. Or old enemies? They haunt him, regardless.]
...I had a dream I kept to my heart, I will admit. But I'm like any Fixer. I abandoned that as a dream and nothing more. I follow the highs and lows, the winding path. The flow. But that stalled and weakened after a...certain point.
[A pause.]
I've seen the ugliness of the City like nothing else. I contributed to it. I spilled blood time and time again. I made mistakes that can't be erased. That dream was held in despite of it all. But in the end, backed into a corner, there wasn't darkness. There was...light.
[And a voice, a sweet voice, so warm, so inviting, and...]
But I turned away from that. It would've destroyed me, suffocated me. Distorted me. I have a new "flow", so to speak. The City keeps turning, true, in its own hateful way. But I'll still follow what I have. [A beat.] Ah, look at me. I've said too much.
[It's so vague one wonders if he said anything at all.]
no subject
she can't say to understand exactly what he's experienced from that kind of description. but she can feel it, all the same — perhaps only as a projection of her own experience.
softly: ]
... It seems we both have. Yet you have my gratitude for it.
[ she straightens up, opening her eyes after that genuine statement. ]
I can only hope you find your ideal consequence, having found the strength to turn away from that light.
no subject
[He lapses into silence - as if his mind is in a dark sea, and he's pulling his head up to take a breath, before sinking back in. His own attention settles on her, finally, eyes a dull, shadowed glimmer.]
You're welcome.
[A sincere statement of his own.]
A kind statement. I appreciate it. As with you, I suppose. To regain one's footing is easier said than done...but it can be done.