guiltrip | Ritual of Destruction

Ritual of Destruction

[ So, Kallamar was going to just burn the conques Lobelia left behind in the Seagull cabana, but apparently that's a bad idea.

So instead, he just brought them all in a drawstring backpack and invited people to do as they wished with them. Happy destroying! ]

(OOC Note: The shells will release whatever sound was stored in them upon destruction. Have fun with that. )

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[Billy remains silent for a while, as something in that statement seems to resonate for him.

~~Right. There's nothing to regret in loving someone. Who was Billy Butcher before her, anyway? Who is he if he doesn't do what he promised her?~~

He nods.]

You ain't gotta try too hard to carry 'em. I ain't someone who believes in ghosts, but hauntings are realer than anythin'.

You ever hear of Spice Girls?

[ Lacus agrees with that. It's easy to grieve when you've loved somebody. It's easy to see them in your minds' eye when you're not trying to think of anything. It's much harder to quiet down the voice that asks 'what if? what if you'd done something different?' but Lacus thinks she's becoming something of an expert in it.

Those are very melancholy thoughts to have, but then he totally catches her off guard. Huh? ]

Spice... Girls? I can't say I have.

They're kinda like you and Haru--pop stars from back in the 90s, couple of their songs are on the karaoke box.

[He gives a light nostalgic laugh.]

My wife was a big fan--I'd hear her hummin' along to Spice Up Your Life in the other room and then it'd be stuck in me head for a whole fuckin' week. It's the kind of girly pop that could drive you mad, but I started likin' it just 'cause it made me think about Becca typin' away on her computer for work and singin' along when I heard it.

That's the kind of stuff you miss more than anythin'.

[ Ah... It makes Lacus smile softly, imagining a simpler time when Billy had someone he could love like that, easily. ]

Whenever my father had a day off, he used to take forever at breakfast. I'd go out to take a morning walk and come back to the smell of his third cup of coffee and the tap of his fingers as he advanced through the paper. I live in our house again now, and every Saturday when I come back in from the garden, it feels as though he's sitting there.

[ But he's not, because he's ended his life with a dozen bullets in his body and it was Lacus' fault. ]

But there's also moments like... When I'm with Kira and my skirt spins a certain way, or my laugh reaches a certain pitch, and for a moment he looks at me and it's as if she's with him instead and I can never tell if that's a happy feeling or not...

[ Lacus wishes she had gotten to know her better, but life wasn't so kind. ]

Mourning is such a simple feeling, but it manifests in so many ways.

Edited 2023-06-07 11:50 (UTC)

[Oh, so that's what Lacus has dealt with. Billy can't relate to missing a father, but he knows that it's the sort of thing that weighs on people who have good relationships with their father from the way M.M. would talk about his family.]

He must see somethin' important in ya if that's the case. Hughie will get this weedy look in his eye sometimes when he's tellin' me to keep a job clean, and...he kinda looks like someone he ain't for a tick.

[Someone he'd failed like he had Becca, like he might have failed Vergilius.]

Reminders are all we get, eh?

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Ritual of Destruction

cont cw suicide ideation / implied suicide

cont cw suicide ideation / implied suicide I THINK??

cont cw suicide ideation / death

cont cw death, murder and mourning, wooo

cont cw death, murder and mourning, we are so normal